Sunday, February 17, 2013

Advice

I'm not very good at taking advice, but there's usually a good reason (In my opinion anyway) why I don't take it. It's not because I don't respect the advice giver, it's usually because I come up with some reason why I can't do what I wanted in the first place. Like every time I am lonely, and think I want a relationship, I remember that at any moment this time of year, I could be pink slipped, and then I might have to search for a new position for the fall. Then I'm like, "Will any relationship that could possibly be even have time to form before I leave?" I'm not the traipsing all over Kentucky type. I know that I would especially not be able to do it for a fledgling relationship, and I would feel guilty if a guy did traipse all over Kentucky for me, when I wouldn't do it for him.

I'm not a person who believes in just dating for the sake of dating. Just because you're lonely, doesn't mean you should try to fill the void with the next 20-something bachelor you're introduced to. You can date people you barely know, but if you don't believe in dating for dating's sake, then you're kind of limited. Obviously you can't get hooked up with a stranger and start a relationship. It doesn't really work that way most of the time. You have to know the person, and they have to know you, before you make that kind of a commitment. That's why I generally prescribe to the "Be friends first" method, so usually that means that any interested party has to hang out with my friends and I in a group or be familiar to me from some other area, before one on one stuff. It is just safer that way then just going on random dates with people you hardly know. I don't want to waste my time, while I'm young, going on three dates with someone I'm only pseudo-interested in forcing myself to make merry.

 Also if I was dating, I would NEVER want to date someone else, even if the guy told me I could, because that's just not who I am. Of course, I could not expect someone I hardly know to be exclusively my date, because that's a little overbearing for being someone he barely knows. Call me old-fashioned, call me crazy, but that's just who I am. Then of course, he could become more attached to someone else he was dating, and I may start to like him, and then we'd have a stupid mess.

Furthermore, while I am somewhat bored and lonely, I'm not desperately bored and lonely. Boredom and loneliness can be cured by friendships too. If I rely on a man to cure me of my boredom and loneliness, then I will become forever dependent on a man for my happiness and contentedness. I don't want that to happen. Learning to be content with how you are is essential I believe, before you learn to be content with someone else in the long term. I've been pretty happy, single for the past almost five years. When I was unhappy, my singleness was not the problem, it was my lack of a job, lack of financial stability, and lack of having any friends to talk to in person (Like when I moved to Hopkinsville). I'm not willing to disrupt the status quo for some random guy a lady at church thinks might be interesting without actually getting to know the person first.

So even if I complain about being bored and not having anyone, I know that I don't necessarily want someone to fix my problem, because of the reasons stated above. I don't want to make someone travel for me. I don't believe in just dating for dating's sake. I don't believe that a man is the only solution to my loneliness and boredom, and the day that I believe that will be a sad day indeed. I prefer for someone to come up with something I can do on Friday night that doesn't require a man to make it a great time. I like time with my girls. I'm 23, and with all the junk I have to worry about with teaching, I'm not willing to make whether I become an old maid something I 100% have to worry about. If I meet someone I like, great, but I don't need to ask acquaintances to set me up with any young single man they know.

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