Here I am sitting on my couch, watching my cat sleep. Sounds like a normal Monday night. Actually it's a normal Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night as well. I occasionally get out, but it's not with any regularity. Especially now that the holidays are over, I'm back to just the usual 9-5 (Except that it's 7-3:30, but whatever). I'm going to try to be a good member of our church choir. Sadly, I sometimes doubt my ability to motivate myself to go to a 7PM practice. Kind of pathetic right? These winter days make me particularly sluggish. I'm reminded of a Dorothy Parker quote that states, "I don't do a thing. Not a single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that anymore."
I've already talked about how I like to stay home rather than party at a bar or club, however every now and then, I kind of miss the Starbucks and being able to people watch while working on my work for school. I'm a creeper. I like people watching. I just find people's habits so interesting. I can't even go people watch at the library, because without a valid KY driver's license (I'm still validly licensed in TN.), I can't check out book. Boo.
I find myself conversing about two topics my cat and my job. I don't have much else to discuss. I've already exhausted the topic of my Christmas vacation, which consisted of me being deathly ill, snowed in, and extremely stressed. These are not exactly great conversation starters. I'm hoping doing choir and being more involved in church will give me something else to write home about so to speak.
I have trouble motivating myself to do anything when I get home from school. I don't want to cook, because then I'd have to clean, and I don't want to clean. I'm so lazy. First world problems I suppose. I am very blessed to have dishes to dirty, and food to dirty them with, but somehow unless I have company, I really don't think it's worth it to cook and then clean up after it. I'll empty the litter pan, take out the trash, pick up my socks, and stuff, but I don't have to dirty the kitchen, so sometimes I just choose not to. It's probably wickedly expensive and wasteful, but by the end of a day at work, I just don't care. Sometimes it's even hard to motivate me on the weekends, because I'd like to rest on my days off, but somehow I always wind up doing something on Saturday during the day, and then not wanting to do anything at night. Then on Sunday I go to church, and then write lesson plans and grade papers the rest of the day. I'm burnt out, and I have no reason to be. Probably the lack of sun, and the bad food I've been eating is part of the reason. I'm a terrible adult.
I realize I have nothing to be unhappy about. I have a nice apartment and a decent job. I get adequate pay and benefits. I have an adorable kitten and nice friends. I'm relatively healthy, and I go to a nice church. I feel like Charlie Brown. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, I'm the Charlie Browniest. (Please note: I in no way own that quote; The origin is the movie Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!) I'm extremely blessed, and I pray I work my way out of this funk soon. I think I need a snow day where I can be safely snuggled up in my covers, looking out my window at the snow, drinking some hot chocolate, and petting my cat. That sounds good. Too bad we're looking at above average temperatures for the next several days. Oh well, maybe I'll get some nice sunshine. :)