Sunday, November 25, 2012


I realize Thanksgiving was four days ago, but I have been a preoccupied. My cat went into be spayed and get a hernia taken care of last Wednesday. Little did I know this routine procedure would cause so much hub bub in my life.

I brought my kitten home on Wednesday afternoon only to have to turn around and take her back an hour later. She tried to jump on the couch (a big no no after surgery), and failed due to the fact that she was still high on her medication. This caused her to rip her stitches and start bleeding. It probably wasn't as profusely bleeding as I remember, but I nearly lost my mind getting my kitten back in her carrier, calling the vet, and driving back to the clinic. I literally bawled and pleaded with God all the way there. It's crazy I did all of this over a cat.

My little cat is my constant companion in my somewhat lonely existence. Sometimes I think I am destined to be a crazy cat lady, because I spoil my cat so much. Originally when I got finished having my panic attack, I chided myself for worrying so much and acting crazy. Surely, if I cannot handle my cat's emergencies with any sort of grace, I could never be able to handle an emergency if I had a child. However, I was too busy thinking about what I did wrong in the situation rather than what I did right. I got my cat into the carrier without causing her anymore harm. I called the vets office to let them know I was coming. I got her to the vet safely, despite the fact that I myself was in not so good of shape. Sure I cried like a baby, and I worried needlessly. When all was said and done though, my kitten was fine. I did my job as a pet owner, and I would do my duty as a mother as well.

My parents were great about me cancelling our post-Thanksgiving plans. They helped me monitor my cat to make sure she rested on her first night back home, and they helped cat proof my home. Dad stayed at home a lot and watched her while mom and I went out and did some fun stuff that did not involve my cat. Without them, I surely would have spent my whole break following my cat around my apartment.

I am very thankful to have such excellent examples of how to be a good parent, and how to support your children. My parents sometimes forget that I'm a grown up, but they treated me like one despite the fact that I acted a bit childish. I hope that my fur baby, Flo, will help me prepare for the more difficult challenges that await me when I become a mother in the future Although I have no way of knowing how soon or how far away that time might be, I know I'm going to be a good mother. I may not always know what's best, but when the you know what hits the fan, I know I'll be able to cope.

I am also thankful that teaching gives me the opportunity to work with kids everyday. I teach high school, and while they are only eight or nine years younger than me, in some ways I feel like their mother too. I take their failures hard, and I get ridiculously excited when they are successful. I love that I get a hand in that. Some of them are so sweet, and some of them are turds, but you can bet your bottom they're my kids, and I love them. 

I could spend all night writing about the things and people I am thankful for, but instead I'm going to get off of here, and get ready to teach tomorrow. Just remember that thanksgiving should last longer than November and December. It should be a 24 hr, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year kind of deal. So I have 365 days to be thankful for all that has been given to me. Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!

Sunday, November 18, 2012

This post will run the gamut of emotions from A to Z.

Because we don't know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four, five times more, perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps 20. And yet it all seems limitless.” 
― Paul Bowles

Just for the record, I did not start with that quote thinking that I'm going to die soon. I'm not that morbid, but I will write about my eventual death. In the last two weeks, my dear aunt lost her dad and her little brother. Her brother was only thirty-three. He had a coronary, and there really wasn't much that could be done about it. The poor man just died. Ideally for me, I'd like to die at some very old age of at least 85+ of some not painful disease/old-age. No one gets to choose when they die. 

We do get to choose how we live. If I died tomorrow, I know I could be proud of what I've accomplished in my short time on Earth. I graduated high school and college. I have been saved and baptized. I landed my first job against all odds, and my second job during unhealthy economic times. I have had so many opportunities thanks to a great familial support system and amazing friends. I have not accomplished a lot, but I know that what I've accomplished has meaning. 

My uncle put up a post about a book called, The Dash. In it it talks about the year of birth on a tombstone and the year of death on a tombstone, but what is really important is the dash in between those years. I intend to use my dash wisely. I intend to find more ways to serve God. I will eventually find a husband, and hopefully (as long as I'm not over 35 when I get married) have a family. I want to buy a house/home and establish a life somewhere. I want to live to teach my current students' children (and in some cases grandchildren). 

The choir director was helping an old lady into church this morning, and as I walked by she said, "Look at that pretty young lady (referring to me)." "I used to wear heels like those." I said thank you, and I held the door open for her and the choir director. That woman made my day. Later during Children's Moment, the youth minister, asked the children, "In 30 seconds, I want you to name everything that you are thankful for." The children rattled off a great list, "family, friends, neighbors, God, church." Then he asked, "How do you tell them that you're thankful for them?" The children replied, "You say thank you." Then he asked, "How do you tell God you're thankful?" They replied again, "Thank you." "Can you not also sing? Can you not also come to church?" That little old lady definitely showed how thankful she was to God today by being kind to a relative stranger. I will be like that little old lady one day hopefully, and hopefully some other young lady will be able to see how thankful I am for God in the same way. 

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving my friends! May God Bless you and keep you safe.